Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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