I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
