i just made my gag reflex go away.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
