maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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