it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you would pick up someone in the library
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
