That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
