the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
