I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
