maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
