My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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