Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
