I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
