He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
