just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Drake has all the answers
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
