can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
