Barsexuality is the new black.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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