Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
