I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
