can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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