Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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