You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Duck Duck Cougar?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
