you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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