is your mom at the bar?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize