Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
