so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
