I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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