Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
look no pants
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize