My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
