Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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