fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
