Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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