belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
