Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
