She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize