We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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