trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
