That's when you crack a 10am beer
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
