why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
