where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
