It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
