wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
