If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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