Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
