My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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