It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
