dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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