That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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