the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
