I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
