Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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