Im at strip club and am horny
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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