I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
