I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
