My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm at about main and main street
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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