well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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