You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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