im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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