I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
