So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
