Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
