Im at strip club and am horny
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize