Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
