oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
