I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
