ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
