Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
