My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
