If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
