I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
